Fancy a Bath with the Mayor of Trumpton?

Add a dash of civic duty to your grooming regime

In an age of Bonnie Blue and the re-election of Donald Trump, you might have thought the carousel of absurdity had spun its last, dizzying turn. But no, dear friend, brace yourself - for it gets even more preposterous. Yes, in 2025, you can now enjoy the peculiar privilege of sharing a bath with the mayor of Trumpton. And who do we have to thank for this madness? As ever, it’s the good old past.

No, I haven’t finally succumbed to madness, my brain scrambed by one too many late-night trawls through 1980s Betamax recordings. This is real. For, hidden deep in the bowels of eBay, I discovered a novelty soap figurine of the mayor of Trumpton. And this was far from some grotesque, lopsided lump of glycerine crafted by a man with a questionable moustache in his deceased mother’s scullery: it was an officialy licensed product.

Produced by Jean Sorelle - purveyor of novelty soaps throughout the 1970s - this soap has somehow sidestepped its core duty of scrubbing body parts and made it unscathed to the modern day. Sure, it has a slightly petrified, almost stone-like appearance, but its actual aesthetics are remarkably accurate. Were it not for the monochrome nature of the soap, you may have been mistaken for thinking it had wandered straight out of one of Gordon Murray’s sets.

So, what’s it like as a cleaning product? That, of course, is the question on everyone’s lips. Well, sadly, I’m not the man to provide an answer. While I have a soft spot for vintage curiosities, the mere thought of slathering a 50-year-old bar of soap onto my skin is enough to get my dermatitis flaring up. If any of you have the mental fortitude to take on such a challenge, then bravo. But for me, it’s less a nostalgic indulgence and more a vivid reminder of the chaotic madness we find ourselves in.

So, thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick with my modern-day Radox.

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